Here today, gone tomorrow

Sometimes what you think is going to happen doesn’t happen and you feel like a failure. Most people are afraid to fail. Because where do you go after you fail? For anyone who starts something the risk of it ending is always on your mind. Some say you have to lose to gain and vice versa. Maybe. 

My career as a writer is a dream. In my own little world I’ve created for myself I am a successful writer who can sit back and not worry about being able to pay bills, taxes, or fix up my home. I have made enough money and then some to take care of anything and everything. Then reality snaps at me and I remember I don’t have that luxury. It is a dream. And I am failure. I can say it with regret and anger and bitterness that I am a failure as a writer. I haven’t achieved any success. No one knows who I am so I sell no books. Why pretend that I can appeal to anyone? Because I love telling stories. I really love writing about the worlds that swirl around in my mind. And I can write for myself. Like some self-awarding moment that I achieved finishing a book and publishing it. But it’s not enough. Because I don’t need to write it or publish it to satisfy myself. I can write it down and have it with me always. But I want to share it. 

Whatever works for one person will not always work for you. Be prepared for whatever strategies they used in being successful to not operate perfectly or at all for you. If you think that the slice of cake is going to magically appear on your plate, please check back in with yourself so you can get off the magical express. Unless you’ve found the end of the rainbow and the leprechaun has the pot of gold waiting for you; you found a faerie who is going to grant you wishes; you suddenly became infused with magic from the universe; you suddenly became a god–you aren’t getting it with a poof or funny sounding word. Putting work into success is just as stressful as putting work into trying to be successful. So what do you do when you aren’t blessed with fairy godparents or you try and try and get nowhere? You can leave it all behind. It’s okay to drown your dream. You only need 3 things to survive: Air, water, and food. And although one of those technically costs money to have, you can actually have all 3 for free. Unfortunately, money will always be prevalent, until it’s not. And unfortunately, none of us will be alive to see the day when money becomes irrelevant. So again, you might ask, what do you do? You can’t live your dream because you keep failing. You can’t live freely because money is always an issue. 

You have to take what you can get. If you put all your effort into your dream and it’s still not happening, then take whatever you can get. You’re putting more stress on yourself by trying to achieve something that may never happen. And you’ll get the person who says that you should never give up. Because giving up is failing. And failure is said to be not acceptable. But what’s more important? Failure at your dream, or not being able to survive long enough to try for that dream? I don’t want to give up. I wouldn’t suggest that anyone give up. But you have to be sensible. If you’ve exhausted every angle and avenue and you’re still not making it, why are you still trying. That’s like trying to carry the planet on your shoulders every day. Eventually, your body will break. You will lose your balance. And you will fall. You may never get back up. Be a dreamer and be logical. Somewhere in between both lies the path of your success. 

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