I suppose I should state what I mean by that title.
There are memories, like we all have, which give us a feeling that no one else can understand, because it’s me, you that is feeling such memories. The fondest of times for me was when I was having complete fun. What is complete fun to me? I played World of Warcraft for over 10 years. And while I enjoyed the storyline and the lore behind it, I have to say that it was, and is, the most satisfying game experience of my life. I played Atari, Nintendo, and Playstation games. They were all huge parts of my life, but World of Warcraft is the game that truly consumed most of my 20s and early 30s. I was addicted. I tried to play hard to be better at it. And although I didn’t play to the fullness that others I know did (I was distracted with trying to get into filmmaking and writing novels), I wanted to be. I wish my father hadn’t got sick and died. I wish my mother hadn’t got sick and died. The freedom that I had to not worry about money and supporting myself was stripped away. I begun to depart from the things I love simply because I could not devote myself to them completely. Yet, to this moment, watching videos, listening to the music, logging onto the game–still gives me chills of enjoyment. I miss it. I miss what was. I want what was. Rich people don’t know what it’s like to have it all taken away. They fear it, but it rarely happens to them. Imagine having it all taken away and you stress over how to get it all back.
There’s a moment between reality and reality where you reach for the strands of the previous moment, hoping to pull it and yourself back in. As each second ticks off, you are closer to the inevitable end, and you beg for longer. You beg for the scientists to be right and reverse the aging process. Let us all be younger and never die. And perhaps that will be achieved in most of our lifetimes. I long for a perpetual loop to be stuck in where I don’t need to worry about anything and I can just enjoy what was, forever. Absolutely, what gave me excitement and enjoyment then, still does now. And it feels the same now as it did then. Only, reality reminds me to not get attached.